I try not to let things piss me off, I really do. But sometimes my hand is forced, and I have no other choice but to get shirty. There really are some annoying people in the world, and seemingly, most of them live on the Gold Coast.

Taxi Drivers
Ok, first thing's first. For Christ's sake, do us all a favour and shower AT LEAST once a day. You may not find your aroma repulsive, but the rest of us do. Your cab is not an ashtray, so stop smoking in it and let us at least enjoy a cab trip where we don't get out smelling like a Winny Blue. And remember, we aren't all stupid tourists from the Emerald City. Some of us do actually know our way around, so f*ck the scenic route, get onto the goddamn highway and get my arse over to Marina Mirage toot-sweet. I don't need to spend $35 on a $20 fare just so that I can see the beach flying past at 30km/h.

Shop Assistants
When I'm purchasing something in your store, I expect your full attention. I know you think your riveting conversation with your colleague is as entertaining for me as it is for you, but news flash, it really isn't. Quite frankly, I couldn't give a rats arse about the fact that you are trying to convince your work friend who is standing 5 feet from you to move in with you so that you can watch whole TV series' on DVD all day every day. Surely such important things as that can wait, oh, the 2 minutes it takes to ring up my purchase and send me on my way. And don't keep apologising to me for not giving me your full attention, and then proceed to keep talking and ignoring me. I will get pissed off, and I will let you know that. Which brings me to my next point - don't get shirty at me 'cos I'm shirty at you for talking all the way through the transaction. There's a very good reason why you are on the other side of the counter, biatch.

Bingo at the surf club
Bingo, bingo, bingo. The combined age of everyone in the room would've been 15,872 years. That's a whole lot of annoyance right there. It was like the set of Cocoon. From the old fart sitting near me who felt the need to answer every number that was called out with a yes, no or hmmm, to the pains in my arse sitting behind who weren't even playing, and did not shut the f*ck up the whole time. Bingo is an interesting game. I've never seen people get so excited about winning $2.50. Although I must admit I carry on like I've won Powerball every time I find a dollar coin in an old handbag. I kept a calm veneer as I received my prize of a $15 breakfast voucher, but on the inside I was partying like it was 1999.

Next stop - the beach. Yee haw.