The wheels on the bus go... ARGGGHHHHHHH

Ok, I'll admit it. I really REALLY hate public transport. Yes, it's convenient, and yes it still is cheaper than driving, but it just plain old sucks.

Let me explain why it sucks so much.

The passengers.

I'm not a fan of crowds, but more so than that, I'm not a fan of crowds in confined spaces. It's why I don't do the Easter Show or music festivals. I'm sure the bus driver allows about 30 more people than it's actually licensed for on. He either can't count, can't give a shit, or both. Now, I don't mind a bit of arse in my face... if it's a nice arse. But generally there are no hotties on public transport because they are all super successful and driving to work in their nice company cars, so the quality of arse is just not there. Old man arse is never a good thing in your face first thing in the morning. Then there's the sickly mofos that cough, sneeze and splutter their way to work, sharing the love and eventually making me crazy sick. Keep that shit to yourself dammit. And how could I forget the moles that insist on having highly personal and annoying mobile phone conversations for all to hear, the freaks that don't believe in the institution of deodorant, arse trumpets, and the fat arses that have no choice but to sit on you because they just don't seem to make bus seats like they used to.

The climate.

Ok, this is the one that really sends me over the edge. It is like the fucking Arctic Circle on wheels. WTF is that shit about??? I've been told it's because they don't want the windows to fog up with the 362 people they have on board. I think that is scientifically impossible. And even if it is possible - it's a goddamn bus. You can't see out of the windows anyway. Use your freaking mirrors and learn how to drive that thing properly so I don't have to start wearing my snow gear to and from work every day.

The timing.

Public transport, in theory, is a good thing. It's meant to save you time and money, which in some instances it does. But unfortunately the transport system where I live, The Twilight Zone, is the shittest system in the world. Calcutta has a better system than we do. In fact the logistics of flying a shuttle to the moon are better. So what it boils down to is me paying 50 bucks a week to sit in a transportable refridgerator with a pack of arseholes for nearly 3 hours a day. That's 15 hours a week - if the traffic is reasonable. 15 hours that I'll never recover. That could be so much television I could be watching. I could be sleeping. I could be picking the lint out of my belly button, I don't know. But I just could be doing something a lot more productive.

Now can y'all see why I like driving my car so much? Think I might move to LA.